Posted by: nickgerlich | November 29, 2007

The Blogs That Never Were

Like the floor of a film editing room, my brain is littered with pieces of things that simply did not make the final cut. You know, topics that probably deserved some mention, but just weren’t substantial enough to warrant a complete blog. As we near the end of the semester, it’s time to sweep the floor and give these orphaned nuggets at least a glimpse of blogging daylight.

  • Shame on Lowe’s for their recent catalog in which they featured their “Family Tree.” That’s right, our beloved Christmas Tree (or the more politically correct Holiday Tree) has been co-opted in favor of a completely sanitized euphemism that leaves you wondering if this arboreal wonder is something that should (could) be displayed throughout the year, or is it just a seasonal decoration? Lowe’s came forth with a rather lame apology, trying to have us believe it was really just a massive typo. Uh-huh. Like “Family” is even remotely close to “Christmas” or “Holiday.” In an effort to not offend some, they wound up offending the majority. I have no problem in recognizing the holidays and traditions of other faith systems by their legitimate names. Makes you wonder what they would call an Easter basket.
  • Game Fuel

  • Leave it to PepsiCo to provide gamers with their own drink. Mountain Dew Game Fuel is the latest in a growing list of flavor variant line extensions from the drink that once proudly proclaimed it would “tickle your innards.” My, how far we have come…from a hillbilly drink to a high-tech caffeinated accessory that complements our video obsessions. Released just in time before the debut of Halo 3, Game Fuel will only be around a short while longer. It is also available in a very cool 16oz. painted aluminum bottle (much like the Bud and Bud Light aluminum bottles they sell at sporting arenas these days).Some critics have decried this promotional cross-branding, alleging that the makers of Halo have sold out to the deep pockets of consumer product marketing. I don’t have a problem with it; the 12oz can and 16oz alumi-bottle make nice additions to my beverage memorabilia collection. Truth be known, I don’t think Halo needed any help; Mountain Dew is the primary beneficiary of this tie-in.
  • How’s your vocabulary? Test your word power at, and help the hungry in the process. Each time you select the correct definition, the site’s sponsor will donate 20 grains of rice through the U.N. Last night I “donated” 300 grains. While the emails that are circulating about this site probably leave you thinking this is a hoax, you can trust that this one is for real. The word game gets increasingly more difficult as long as you make correct selections; it dumbs-down a notch if you make a mistake.Give it a shot, and do your best to help this worthy cause. Open up in a second window if you need to, because it wouldn’t be very cool to miss out on a painless way to lend a hand.
  • I know I have talked about Apple enough to make many of you sick. It’s just that these people can do no wrong in my estimation. I noticed back in October that there were no checkout lines at the Apple Store in Las vegas. Why? Because each salesperson is now a walking cashier, complete with a wireless device that is a card reader and P.O.S. terminal. They assume, of course, that no one is paying with cash or check (like the Visa commercials, no doubt). You can even have your receipt emailed to you. It speeds up sales significantly; more importantly, it helps Apple keep shoppers from having one last fatal reconsideration of their purchase. With no long line to be waited in, you can go from “OK, I’ll buy it” to “…and here’s my credit card.” Pretty smart.

There. The floor of my brain is now clean. One more week of blogging and we can all take a break.

Dr “Clean Sweep” Gerlich


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